Lean In

I have been reading Lean In, which has been so great. While volunteering with the Peace Corps I have had a lot of free time. The majority of my days out of my house are filled with sitting in plastic chairs, talking, and sharing a coffee or a meal with someone. When first arriving into the DR I would feel uncomfortable if I sat more than 20 minutes in near silence with a group of people, now this is the norm. Spending time with others, sharing your time, experiences, and a good meal goes a long ways. To work with others you cannot just come in, give free supplies or even education and be on your way. To form sustainable education shared throughout the community and honestly to stay sane, you have to form relationships with others. You have to give time to others. When Donas insist that I sit down for a cup of coffee or a fresh cup of juice even though I’ve been walking in the hot sun for 2 hours and a baby just peed on me and all I want to do is go home and take a bucket bath and go to bed, you sometimes have to take that seat and are better for it. I find that the most rewarding conversations are often when I’m most dying to get home to my own space, but then choose not to. Anyways I digress- a lot.

In my free time here I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do in my future. What would suit me best? Although I have not fully decided I feel like I have narrowed down my search and debunked some of the fears of career paths I had considered before. … Then I look around at my friends in my community, whether it is the 18 year-olds starting careers or the 20-some women with 3 or more kids. I love the programs such as learning how to bake and selling their baked goods, starting a hair salon, doing people’s nails, starting a corner store, or making mistoline these women find a way to provide for their family. They are expected to wait on their spouses hand and foot to rarely leave their house and constantly cook, clean, and care for their children, none of this is ever expected of the man. In fact, if a man were to do this family would likely be ridiculed by the community and their family. Even as a child, which happens all too often in the US as well, young boys are punished for playing with “girls toys” such as dolls or kitchen sets. At the same time, young girls are punished for playing sports or for even playing with only boys at a young age.

Despite all of these barriers, I still see my women working day and night to get an education and be more educated members of society. Many of my women from my women’s group, Hogares Saludables are taking Saturday classes in San Juan to gain their high school degree. These women, all dropped out of high school at a young age to get married and have children. I have a young girl, age 16, who is completing 8th grade in my brigada verde class. She has a daughter who is 1 ½ and still she is completing her education. These women are driven and brave. Against all odds and against all pressure from family and society to devalue education for women and emphasize the “necessity” to have children and a family, these women work hard, wake up for nightly feedings of their newborn babies and then roll out of bed at 6 in the morning to prepare the lunch for their family before they go to class on Saturday, taking exams they barely had time or resources to study for. These women work hard and if I can learn even a fraction of the determination from them, I think I will be more successful than I could have imagined.