Somos Familia

I have not worked with the men in my community too much. Mostly this is because often men in this country do not treat me as a professional and simply hit on me, but also because it is sometimes hard to get men to work outside of their household. So, I decided to work on a project I am passionate about with the men’s group in my community. With Nancy (Yokira’s mother) as a project partner, I gave talks to this group of men on the rights of children, ways to discipline children through communication, and ways to avoid using violence in the household.

Many of the men are illiterate and other not as many as I think in my women’s group, I used many pictures and visual aid and little textual showings. The men seemed very receptive to mine and Nancy’s talks. I think it was important since I was a young American woman who does not have kids yet to have Nancy working with me at these talks. I have not raised kids and I think it would be very forward of me and rude to assume I know everything about raising children and how it should and shouldn’t be done with my lack of experience. Even though I believe one shouldn’t hit their kids and instead should explain what they did wrong or use other discipline systems, I have never come home after a long days work with a troublesome child who is stealing things and getting into trouble with the neighborhood.

Spankings are very common in the Dominican discipline system, although not all Dominicans do this. Often more than spankings are common. Some of the most ironic punishments I have seen are when a small child hits another kid and then as a punishment their parent slaps them across the face and tells them not to do that. I have seen kids get beat for almost no reason at all, and instead of explaining what they did wrong the discipliners I have seen will use a sandal or a stick and whack them across the butt or back until it burn bright red.

Often I will be talking to some of my women and loving our conversation and feeling that we are really getting close and then she will slap her 2 year old daughter across the face because she reached for food on the table, then I’m snapped back to reality, maybe some of my women and I don’t align on all of our ideals.

Nancy for example did not physically discipline her children and just explained to them what they did wrong and how they can fix it. Through Somos Familia, I hope that Nancy and I have shared with the community, specifically often the duelers of discipline in the household other options to discipline their children and help run their household as a partnership with their wife, fostering a loving, nurturing environment.